PART I
Basic Skills
1 Listening....................................5
Real Vs. Pseudo Listening a Blocks to Listening * Assessing
Your Listening Blocks U Four Steps to Effective
Listening a Total Listening * Listening for Couples
2 Self-Disclosure .............................. 24
Rewards of Self-Disclosure a Blocks to Self-
Disclosure U Optimal Levels of Self-Disclosure U Assessing
Your Self-Disclosure I Practice in Self-Disclosure
3 Expressing .................................35
The Four Kinds of Expression a Whole
Messages a Contaminated Messages a Preparing Your
Message B Practicing Whole Messages U Rules for Effective
Expression
PART II
Advanced Skills
4 Body Language ............................59
Body Movements U Spatial Relationships
5 Paralanguage and Metamessages ...............70
"The Elements of Paralanguage a Changing Your
Paralanguage I Metamessages * Coping with Metamessages
6 Hidden Agendas. ............................80
The Eight Agendas * Purpose of the Agendas
7 Transactional Analysis ........................89
Parent, Child, and Adult Messages * Analyzing Your
Communications N Kinds of Transactions U Keeping Your
Communications Clean
8 Clarifying Language ........................104
Understanding a Model a Challenging the Limits of a
Model U Challenging Distortions in a Model I Some Final
Clarifications
PART III
Conflict Skills
9 Assertiveness Training ......................125
Your Legitimate Rights a Three Communication
Styles * Identifying Communication Styles U Your
Assertiveness Goals I Assertive Expression U Assertive
Listening i Combining Assertive Expression and
Listening i Responding to Criticism u Special Assertive
Strategies I Assertiveness Skills Practice
10 Fair Fighting ............................. 150
Unfair Fighting * Identifying Unfair Fighting Styles a Fair
Fighting a Fair Fight Rules * Your Script for Change
11 Validation Strategies ....................... 161
What Is Validation? a Why Does Validation Work? a What
Validation Is Not a Components of Validation a Successful
Validating Strategies a The Power of Validation
12 Negotiation............... ..............173
Four Stages of Negotiation * Dealing with Conflict & Rules
of Principled Negotiation a When the Going Gets Tough
PART IV
Social Skills
13 Prejudgment..............................191
Prejudgment Traps a Stereotypes * Approval and Disapproval
in Prejudgment U Parataxic Distortions a Perpetuating
Illusions U Clarifying First Impressions
14 Making Contact ...........................205
Fear of Strangers U Guidelines for Making Contact
* The Art of Conversation U Putting It All Together
PART V
Family Skills
15 Couples Skills ................. ...........223
What Makes a Good Relationship? t Schemas
a Couples Systems U Keeping Your Relationship Strong
16 Communicating with Children............... 246
Listening U Expressing I Joint Problem Solving a When to
Let Go 0 When You Have to Say No a The Point Is...
17 Family Communications .....................265
Family Communication Disorders a Family Pathology * Family
Systems S How to Keep Family Communications Healthy
PART VI
Public Skills
18 Influencing Others ........................285
Ineffective Strategies for Influencing Change a Effective
Strategies for Influencing Others I Your Plan for Influencing
Change U Lisa's Plan for Influencing Change
19 Public Speaking ..........................295
Defining Your Purpose * Outlining the
Subject * Presentation W Organization U Audience
Analysis a Style i Supporting Materials I The
Outline i Delivery I Dealing with Stage Fright
20 Interviewing .............................. 312
Clarifying What You Want I If You Are the Interviewer
S If You Are the Interviewee 0 Conclusion